Hidden Dreams (Edited)

I need time away from the one I love

Because she’ll never love me back

She doesn’t even realize that she’s the one

She thinks I pine for someone else

Yet deep within I know the love for which I yearn

Is spent on others who ‘round me sit

I honestly want to run forever

Though after one block, I’d take a nap

How do I hold on hope that in a future day

The love I need will come my way

If not hers, then who will it be

You can’t love a man such as me

In my dreams I fall asleep and wake no more

It’s easier to never feel again

Than hurt and hurt, feel good, then hurt

Exhausted, tired, I’m ready to give in

Please God, know that I love you but I can’t go on

I’ve tried to have faith enough

But we all know that I’ll disappoint

If not today, then tomorrow for sure

I’m a decent man who fell to vice

One too many times or thrice

But most of all, please know I loved you all

I just hurt so much and can’t stop the pain

I know Christ could heal my pain

But tomorrow comes, I hurt again

How many times must I feel this???

I know the answer is until I get it right.

However, I have learned that it takes guts

To carry on day after day, and month for month.

I’m too ****** up to carry on, too broken down,

Too late, my friends, please let me go, I’ve failed you here.