HAPPY! days

My writings are flawed as they come out of here
Painting a picture, Picasso beware
Lithium eyes and Seroquel dreams
Don't tell me I'm crazy...that's wasting my time

I'm crazy for love, I'm crippled with fear
I think way too much, obsessively so
Let me alone I don't wanna change
I like who I am yet hate me the same

I'm up and I'm down
I'm figuring out
How the world spins around
Whether I'm in or I'm out

Life can be tough and I need to mature
I'm stuck in a rut with nowhere to go
Your smile.  Beyond description.
Problems. You've got them, I hope.

Let's be lost together finding our way
Take a step toward me and I pull you in
Fear not, I'm beside you for the good times and bad
Out of nowhere arises an oasis for love

Hold my hand, I feel peace, I feel life
Stare into your eyes, I awaken within
Thinking of You, my grin starts to stretch
Can you be interested in this awful wretch?

LOVE. hate. HOPE. despair.
Feelings I feel without even knowing
Increasing the good and ousting the bad
I love where I'm going...keep driving me there!

Roadmap to write and gastank to fill
Your hand in mine, sounds too good a deal
A smile on your face, that's what I like
My mission is simple...(to be continued)

I Died Last Night

I woke up this morning and remembered my dream
I was very sad and wanted to prove I could do it
I grabbed the gun, broke the action, and loaded two shells
I love this gun, it shoots so true

I walked up to my room and there I felt my life slip away
I thought the last few thoughts before I died
Nothing sticks out, I don't know what ran through my mind
I don't remember pulling the trigger and so here I lie.

It's after midnight and I'm alive
It's surprising because much of me wants to go
What keeps me here is a mystery
One that I have yet to solve but what happens when I do

In the solution do I find the end
Is the recompense passing to the world beyond
The place I know is far better than the most wonderful earth has to offer
But what if I'm the one to send me on?

That's what worries me but what when worries cease?
If I no longer cared would I be able to do it?
Would I be able to punch my ticket to the underworld?
Where would I roam if life's answers were less intriguing?